3 Fast Things
At the end of this newsletter is my recent video where I drank tequila and arm-wrestled some Mexicans while roadtripping in Texas, I’d love you to click on it and watch it please.
I don’t know if you follow me on IG or FB but you may have noticed my daily uploads of my stretching sessions. If you have been wondering what the hell I’m doing, well, in an effort to improve my overall physical wellbeing, I am dedicating myself to a satisfactory stretching every single day and going to report on the changes in a future video. The only way I will stick to it is if I’m creating content 😂 That’s just who I am.
It’s 11:30am on a Saturday, it’s raining outside, I have coffee and warm socks, Sinead O’Connor is blasting in the other room with a scented candle, got some washing in the machine, and I’m sitting in a robe at my desk creatively working on words and videos. This is my ideal weekend.
1 Slow Thing: How I Became a Superb Networker
Not bragging, but I’m pretty good at networking. Pretty good at self-sabotaging and severing ties, too, but let’s focus on the positive.
Until recently, I didn’t really understand the concept of networking. It was just this word people used which gave me the creeps. It sounded icky and small-talky and riddled with awkward moments. Networking events in my 20s just meant drinking alcohol—which led to finally having enough confidence to talk to, or make out with, senior colleagues.
The thing that scared me about networking is that I never knew what the hell to talk about. Business? Boring. Industry? Huh? Career goals? I don’t know what that is. These grown-up topics were always a lot for me because in my 20s I was only paying just enough attention to my surroundings to know how to get to work. I didn’t know what I did for work.
What I’ve figured out since becoming a bit more aware of the world, is that to be good at talking about a topic, you can't be frightened of sounding like a dumbass. And to feel confident that you won’t sound like a dumbass, you have to have some interest in the topic. You don’t have to know jack squat about it, you just have to be curious to find out.
I had such little interest in “building brand love" for big global companies that for the entire first part of my career in advertising I struggled to pay attention. I never really did grasp what the hell “above the line” meant.
This might sound obvious to some, but so many people claim they aren’t good at networking that I’m just going to lay it on the page. All you need, to be a reasonably good networker, is an appetite to hear someone else’s point of view on your shared interest. And if you can’t handle that basic instruction, well sorry but there’s no hope for you.
I was only able to see how bloody good I was at networking when I got back into stand-up comedy in 2022. I made a decision that I wanted to learn and understand the craft and in order to do that, I needed to be able to talk to people who can teach and share those insights.
Same thing happened when I was in LA recently for a “creator economy” conference. I was genuinely interested in what people were doing, discussing and proud of in this industry that I now live and breathe. I had actual worthy things to ask people and dig into. And by default people showed the same curiosity in me and mine.
There’s also a lot to say for having increased comfort in myself at the delicious age of 36. Having more acceptance of who I is, plus an increased understanding of human psychology, has only made the awkward moments more bearable.
Then of course the whole realisation that everyone is trying to work it all out in the same way I am—that certainly boosted my abilities to bypass the sickly small talk to get to the juicy guts of a convo.
It also turns out that networking is not just about business. Networking is just building a network of people you have contact with. And I’ve bloody been doing that for years haven’t I.
In one of my latest “networking" endeavours, I stumbled across some crazy-fun Texan Mexicans while road trippin’ through Texas. We rocked up to a roadside motel and they beckoned us in for a beer by the BBQ. That escalated so quickly from beer to bourbon and now I have lifelong Tex Mex mates to call upon.
Oh, would you look at that, I made a video about it. It would mean the world to me if you would watch it and share it and tell me how good it is.
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Watch: We’ve been hard at work on a new video format for the Mark Manson channel. He is pivoting from self-help theory to self-help practice, taking on participants who need coaching out of problems like social anxiety, check out the newest video here (but watch my video first):