3 Fast Things
I don’t feel like writing three fast things this week because I just want to send the email out.
I’m going to Coachella in April. Hehe.
I am going to spend 2 weeks in Melbourne for the Melbourne Comedy Festival. That’s what dedicated comedians do. Not all the dedicated comedians do it. More like, just the ones who have a bit of flexibility in their goddamn lives.
1 Slow Thing: On Improving Eating Habits
Like many people who eat food, I have a problem with it.
My mum was always dieting and complaining about her weight as I grew up and I’ve had the same exhausting conversations with myself my whole life.
Every single day of my life, I think far too deeply about how I am going to manage what I put into my body. How I will stay in control. How I will avoid regret or shame. How I can become a skinny bitch and live happily ever after.
Sometimes I find such comfort in the power to plan what I’m going to eat tomorrow that I use food planning to soothe myself to sleep of a night.
Rarely do I stick to the plan because the plan is usually ridiculous. But conceptualising calorie deficit days is like heroin for me.
I don’t have any memories of when I didn’t care about what I eat because before I fell onto the “I’m fat” train I wasn’t conscious enough of food to be aware of my healthy attitude towards it. But I imagine I was quite the little legend about it.
I have always called my thing with food a food addiction. I’m on a constant battle with myself to not consume more than I need. I have to make negotiations with myself at every meal. I beg myself to skip the pleasurable stuff that’s calorie dense.
And to be fair, I do pretty well. In fact, I’m considered a pretty healthy eater by those who spend time with me.
The addiction-y bit comes in when, on the odd occasion—some weeks more often than others, and always in private—I find myself desperately hooking into way more calories than my bodwa needs. My smartwatch gets lit as I watch my heart rate go from 60 to 100 resting beats a minute. My jaw aches. My hands are usually greasy or sticky. It’s all a bit how ya goin’.
Only a few times since my addicky started have I had clear insight into what it feels like to not be obsessed with what I eat. Where I don’t think about food as the enemy. Where I don’t think about food as my therapist. Where I don’t think about food as a risk to future me’s sense of self-worth. Where I don’t think about food at all.
I sometimes get a little leg up on it. I just eat really well for a good consistent amount of time to the point where it becomes habitual to not overeat or choose the pizza. But then one Friday night I eat one too many tacos and decide I’ve ruined everything so I might as well smash a block of chocolate to boot.
And that’s it. I am obsessing with food again for the next however long it takes me to build the good habits back up.
Here’s the thing though, I’ve kinda had to go on this journey of small wins and failures to get to the point I’m at today. While I’m still having regular issues with this stuff, I can at least look at it all a little more objectively. I’ve developed some self-awareness around it. I can see what’s going on. I can spot auto-pilot behaviours. I have a clearer idea of what I need to do to change it.
CHANGING BELIEFS
The first realisation I’ve had was understanding that my bad eating is a bad habit and not an addiction. The way you distinguish between addiction and habit is how choice is still possible with habitual behaviours. If I was addicted to food, I’d have a dependence that would overwrite my ability to skip breakfast.
But by telling myself I have an addiction to food, or by constantly telling myself I have any sort of problem with food, I’ve set up a core belief system. I believe I have issues with food so my subconscious allows me to operate in ways that makes sure I’m not lying to myself.
We program our brains to go in search for more of whatever we are focused on. By thinking about food every single flipping minute, I’m telling my brain that “this is important”. By obsessing over it, my brain and body and subsequent behaviours are all revolving themselves around those thoughts I’m allowing.
Reframing beliefs about ourselves is essential in taking control of habits. I’m not a scientist but there’s this trendy term doing the rounds these days called neuroplasticity.
It’s just a fancy way of saying that our brains are malleable. The way we are is not set in stone and by conscious repetition and self-awareness, we can actually reorganise neural networks. This means our brains can be rewired to function differently to how it previously functioned if we consciously work on it.
This is exciting shit and this is where I’m at. I’m starting to move my attitude towards food into a healthier space by catching unhelpful thoughts as they arise, giving them no meaning and starting to transform those thoughts and beliefs into “I have a healthy relationship with food”.
The other thing is this 👇
ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING
The other thing about habits is that once you kind of have them in order, you can relax a little when you mess up, have a “naughty day” or don’t exercise or whatever.
We’re not lab rats with perfect set conditions to keep us on the straight and narrow. Life is a messy mothertrucker and some days are going to be easier to stick to healthy habits than others.
The other day was Valentine’s Day and I’d had a jolly good eating day up until the point my 2-year-old nephew gave me some chocolate coated raspberries. After that I celebrated his adoration for me by drinking chardies and devouring choccie raspies into the evening.
Usually I would have felt pretty bad about myself regarding that behaviour, but because I know I’m getting my habits in order, I know I can start again tomorrow.
I know I can’t eat like a rabbit every day. Some days are going to be epic eating extravaganzas and that’s life. And thank god for that really.
Back on the rabbit train tomorrow (if possible)!
I like this from @nerd_fitness on Instagram:
When you think of working out in terms of “What exercises do I have time for?”, you’ll begin to notice that sticking to your health habits is more sustainable.
If we approach fitness and nutrition with a “100% ALL IN, or It’s not worth it” attitude, then we’re engaging in “All-or-nothing thinking” and setting ourselves up for a hard time when we can’t put in 100%.
Just like Ditto, that shape-shifting purple goo Pokèmon, All-or-nothing thinking takes many forms.
For example, you have engaged in All-or-nothing thinking if you’ve said any of the following.
🤔 “This meal wasn’t 100% healthy because it had way too much fat and salt, so I’ve failed my nutrition plan.”
🤔 “I just don’t have more than 45 minutes to work out today, so I’m just going to skip my workout and do it tomorrow.”
🤔 “I worked out with my friend today, but I didn’t train as intensely as usual, I need to train even harder tomorrow to make up for it!”
When we DO fall into All-or-nothing thinking, it’s important that we have an escape plan to get out of that hole. That escape plan can look like reminding ourselves that we DON’T live in a laboratory where we can have perfect set conditions each and every day.
Anyway, that’s what’s been on my mind this week. But also, please do make sure you take a look at this video below!!! 👇
Watch
This week’s video: A little sumthin different this week, I finally got to editing my video of the day I spent in Delhi dressing up as an Indian bride. Watch the most beautiful day of my life.
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Friday 24th Feb - Breaking Comedy Club
Friday 10th March - Barrie Hotel in Chippendale (new room, by The Laugh Mob)
Recommendation
Read: Val Thinks Substack. She’s a colleague and friend and writes a newsletter every week. And reads mine. And judges my tyypos. Hi Val.